the revenant

What I would first say about this movie is it’s definitely not for the faint hearted (me included!). I was struggling to keep myself from barfing at gory scenes – at one point, I barfed just a bit.

Despite the gory details that were about 75% of the movie, I managed to learn a thing or two about survival skills. First being, do not put yourself in the uncharted wilderness because nothing good comes out of it. Second is bear fur makes super comfy brutal winter coat. Keyword: brutal – not for any other winter condition. I’m an animal rights advocate but honestly, Leornardo looked like he was having a ball with a mother bear coat hung on him in the blizzard cold.

I’m more of a conversation type of movie go-er and this movie has Leonardo spoken 150 lines tops! The lines were pretty repetitive – “I am right here”, “You are my son”, “I’ll be right here” – so it was kinda meh. The storyline was normal in my opinion, nothing different. What made up for these lack thereof is really the gory details that made me cringed – Tom Hardy’s fingers were chopped off by an axe. Spoilers!

Another major part of the movie that really did it for me is eating raw meat off the animals. Oh lord, I can’t even! It’s like telling the waiter in the resto that I want my steak BREATHING instead of medium rare. All that time, I wonder how their mouths smelt like, with a notorious combination of raw meat and blood and no latte to wash it down – it’s no wonder I wasn’t born then!

Brutal winter tip guys – all else fail, just snugged yourself in a horse to keep you warm. Before you do that though, remember to remove ALL its inner body parts first. Too bad there’s only room for one. If you are travelling with two, better to get another horse.

After the movie, I asked myself, “Why did I do that to myself?”

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