Nothing like in the movies happened to me. My water bag did not break like it did for Charlotte in Sex and the City movie.
I went for my last appointment on my EDD (17 June) and was still very much pregnant. My cervix was 1cm dilated and I still had a long way to go. I heard the remaining 9cm can take days! Since I was getting very uncomfortable, I decided to get induced.
I was admitted into the labour ward at 1 pm and the pill was inserted at 1.30 pm. Before they inserted the pill, they checked my cervix again. I hated it because it hurt! The contractions were bearable at this stage. I did not have to ask for any form of pain relief yet. They made me change into this maternity wear which added 10 years on me (who does full-on floral prints anymore). I swear my mum wore the same dress when she delivered me 27 years and 6 months ago in the same hospital.
The wait was agonizing. I was only 3 cm dilated before the second pill was inserted at 7 pm.
The baby’s heart rate was inconsistent. Hence, they kept us in the labour ward which was charged by hour after the first 4 hours. Oops! The contractions started to grow stronger in the night. At 3 am, I was in so much pain (I can’t remember what the pain was like now though). I had to squeeze Luqman’s hand during each contraction. I tried the laughing gas but, it did not work for me. So I asked for the injection, twice. It worked for a while but, it mostly put me to sleep. Oh, the labour…
This went on until 6 in the morning (18 June). The other gynae checked on me again and told me I am only 5 cm dilated. That’s when they broke my water bag and administered the E P I D U R A L. What an invention! When they asked if I wanted epidural, I did not hesitate for a second! Yes, give it to me… N O W.
The next 6 hours was relaxing and painless. I managed to catch some sleep and let them do whatever the heck down south. They opened my legs, pushed their fingers and I felt nothing. It was the best feeling ever. Forget about feeling violated, just let me have my sleep.
At 12 noon, I was still 5cm dilated. My gynae told me that we might need to think of another way to deliver the baby which was via emergency c-section. To be honest, I was a little disheartened when it came down to that. I wanted to experience the whole “push, push, P U S H” scene that I had been playing in my head since week 1. But hey, the doctor knows best and more importantly, the baby and I be kept safe… and breathing.
They prepped me for surgery. They upped my epidural. I was trying to stay as calm as possible when in actuality, I was scared to death. Before I was wheeled out of the labour ward, I only managed to catch a glimpse of Luqman because he was busy talking to the nurses. I recited prayers in my head and heart as much as I could. The whole thing was pretty surreal.
The operating theatre looked like a scene from Grey’s Anatomy. There were a few doctors and nurses busying around me. I puked on one nurse right before my operation (oops). All the time, I was looking for a familiar face; my gynae. He better show up ah, I mean I paid for private patient fee yo. Kidding lah! It’s just that he makes me feel safe so I needed to see him there. When he walked in, I felt at ease and prayed so hard that everything would go smoothly.
“Don’t worry, it’s normal to feel a little bit of tugging and pushing.” Ok, can.
During the operation, I was so sleepy af. I could barely open my eyes and all I wanted to do was sleep. So, I asked the nurse seated next to me if it’s okay for me to sleep. Lol, talk about my maternal instinct. Sorry baby!
“Fathiah, Fathiah, your baby is here. I will put him on your chest for skin-to-skin contact.”
And hello baby, there you are.
I asked Luqman if he cried when he first saw the baby. He didn’t but, he cried while he said adzan to Baby Adam. And my heart smiled and crushed at the same time because I didn’t get to see that.